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Communicating Through Disagreement

A relationship without disagreement is probably too brittle to last. Some of the best human bonds are forged in the fire of disagreement, said Jerry Spinelli.

As you begin to read this just take a minute to ponder upon the different relationships you have, and you have many because you just like every other person are a social being. These relationships be it platonic, romantic, professional or any other kind, help us survive and make our existence meaningful. And while they bring joyful experiences, opportunities to create memories, and much more that might not always be the case. There are always two sides to a story, if a relationship is healthy it requires a balance of agreement and disagreement. 

Relationships survive by active communication which becomes all the more essential when talking about professional relationships at the workplace. Be it between people at the same level of agency or different, communication is essential. And for most people communicating with people, they are aware might disagree with them is an idea that makes them highly uncomfortable. Not being comfortable during a conversation is only going to make a conversation harder, further making them impossible conversations.

Following are ways to be able to communicate without any discomfort even in face of disagreements and finally have the conversations you have been dreading. 

Be Open to Understanding: In order for you to have a conversation despite potential disagreements, it is essential for you to approach the conversation with an open mind and a positive attitude which involves your willingness to truly make an attempt to understand the other person by keeping your subjective notions and biases aside. If you approach someone with certain preconceived notions about them or the topic of the conversation, you'd be more likely to express judgment which would further lead to disagreement. 

Look for similarities, not differences: When approaching a conversation that indicates disagreement, we are inclined to looking for things that indicate discomfort, disagreement, or conflict instead of focusing on certain similarities. It is necessary to be unbiased and look at things from a neutral perspective. It is advised to look for similarities in ideas of the different parties communicating and then work on them in order to avoid conflict and disagreement.   

Engaging in active listening and questioning: Just being physically present is not going to suffice for an active communication resolution of conflict. One needs to be patient and actively listen to the arguments put forth by the other person, unless one does so they won't be able to know what is that they exactly agree or disagree with. Often people can be way too over their heads to listen to the other person and end up saying something that leads to more conflict instead of being resolved. Its also necessary to politely raise questions if you are unclear about something said by the other person, or feel like they are speaking something that you are entirely sure is incorrect. Questioning is as crucial as listening however needs to be done very politely.

Dealing with your emotions and being responsible for them: While conventionally it is expected from the speaker to make sure to not say anything that could potentially hurt or trigger the listener in any way, nowadays the responsibility falls on all the parties involved in the process of communication because of their willingness to get indulged in the process in the first place. You need to make sure that even if there is a disagreement you are accepting of other people presenting their ideas and don't let that affect you emotionally. It will help you look beyond your biases and what triggers you.

Use positive language: With an aura of discomfort and conflict, a conversation could always use some positive language. There are better ways of disagreeing or rejecting a point raised by someone in a conversation instead of being harsh and negative. Phrases like "I like your suggestion but maybe we can try things differently this time" can help you ease the conflict and say "no" politely much more than blatantly refuting to arguments. Being patient, polite, and composed while using positive language is as crucial as the words uttered.

There is a lot more to relationships than commitment and sacrifices, being able to say no and take a stance for individual self no matter what kind of relationship it might be, is extremely significant to not let oneself get crushed by someone else. Certain conversations are difficult but that doesn't mean they just can't take place. Using the right ways will help you have even the most discomfort-inducing conversations.  

#communication #conflict #disagreement #differences #pmcpl  

Image Credit : Unsplash

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Aryan Gulati

An avid reader, researcher, and versatile content writer who is still learning and enjoys the company of animals and books on a peaceful Sunday evening.


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